Is it just me?

The past few days I have been reading a lot of blogs not just on blogspot, but blogs, forums, and comments written on the Manilow Network also. Nowadays I tend to stay away from the MMN as what goes on there is appalling, but I wanted to gather a general consensus on how fans regarded Barry. I have known how he's regarded for quite a while now, but I wanted to view it from a larger spectrum. And now I'm wondering, am I the only one who looks at him as something else besides a "Sex God" or wishes to stay away from his private life because it's none of my business? Some of the things written sound as though a person my age could have written them as they are reminiscent of teenage-like fantasies and views, but in fact they are adults twice my age! Isn't there a point in life where one has to say to themselves "Oh well I think it's time to grow up." Yet some women regard him as a substitute for a void they feel in their lives and an object of their fantasies. I'd be lying if I said I do not look at Barry's physical appearance at all because I certainly do, duh...my room, but the music was what first attracted me to him, not the way he looked and the music will always play the most crucial part. We see him in concert time after time because we want to see him in the flesh and for me personally, that is the biggest thrill I get from being a fan, but during our down time is it really necessary to say certain things (you know what I mean)? Another thing I have to address is how some women revolve most of their lives around Barry. Most of the people, with the exception of a few who I regard more as family, rarely see the non-Barry part of my life, which is not only important to have, but normal. I do not speak of my personal life very often because I keep that separate from Barry. He is not my whole existance, he is part of who I am, but definitely not all of it. It is easy to tell though those who do not have a life separate from Barry. Those are the ones who spend their days on the computer, though I must feel sorry for those individuals. What I'm trying to say though is go out to the park, go to a museum, attend an art class, do something with your life because we only get one. I will not speak for Barry as I am not him and I do not know what he thinks or feels, but to me it is no coincidence he has an entourage of security guards and how heavily guarded his personal life is as well. It is because of things like this; fans who spend their days on the computer trying to find the tiniest bit of information about him or stalking his private residences, fans who publicly display their sick infatuation with him, and fans who always want something from him. All of this nonsense does not affect my feelings for Barry, but it seems as though it has affected Barry's feelings towards us, the fans. JMHO.

Happy Birthday Barry :)

I just wanted to wish Barry a very happy birthday (even though he won't read this) as it was this day 66 years ago, an amazing talent was born. I hope this day is as wonderful as you are and you continue to have many, many years full of happiness and love because you truly deserve it and I'm saying that as a fellow human being, not a fan. When you were born, an extraordinary talent was born too, one that has given us beautiful music and countless memories and I know that I am, along with many others, very grateful for that. So have an absolutely amazing birthday. :)

Here's to Las Vegas!

So it's official! I'm going back to Las Vegas!!!! Today I purchased my plane ticket...finally so it feels much more realistic. Getting this trip together has been one of the biggest tasks I have ever taken on, not only for financial reasons, but for personal reasons also. I knew I had to do this. I knew that the moment I left the Hilton nearly a year ago. There were many things standing in my way and it only made me more determined to prove to others that I would be able to pull this off. At the same time I felt it was necessary to prove to myself that I could do something for me. There have been critics telling me he's going to cancel, asking why I want to see 3 shows, and telling me there is nothing more to see, yet I have somehow taken all of this in stride and have ignored the critics. Sometimes it was easy, yet sometimes it was hard, but I never gave up, even though sometimes I felt as though I should. Many times I would remind myself why I was doing this and would tell myself that nobody would be upset but me if I didn't reach my goal. All of this may sound extreme as Vegas is a luxury most can afford, but for a 17 year old girl it's a huge undertaking. But finally it's here in my reach so it makes all the stress and tears absolutely worth it. And as you can imagine, words cannot even begin to describe how excited I am. :)

A Sad State of Affairs

I have been at a loss the past few weeks. With news of more show cancellations, fan backlash to the cancellations, random fan drama, and negativity surrounding Barry I do not know how to feel anymore. All I seem to be exposed to lately is negativity. I cannot get away from it. If there is not some sort of drama causing an uprise in the fan world, there seems to be somebody teling me how Barry did this or Barry did that and quite honestly I do not care. Lately I have really missed my pre-fan world days. I did not measure my love for Barry by how long I could prevent myself from going crazy if a fight broke out on the MMN or whether or not I cared if Barry did something unfavorable. There comes a time though when a person can only handle so much without reaching their breaking point and that time has come. The constant negativity that seems to be pushed upon me whether I want it or not, has overshadowed everything I held dear to my heart. I just do not feel the way I used to and I do not want the love I have for Barry to be tainted. I am not saying I want to live in this happy little world where Barry can do no wrong and everything is perfect, trust me that is the one thing I really despise. One of the reasons I why I love Barry is his ability to reveal his flaws. I just want to love Barry as I did before and not have breaking news of a Manilow world catastrophe interrupt.

Somewhere Down the Road

I know I haven't posted anything in a while, but life sometimes gets in the way of things and then before ya know it it's almost June.

Lately I've been listening to "Somewhere Down the Road" a lot and I mean A LOT. All those months ago when I first heard this song, I never connected to it. Even though I knew it was not necessarily about a romantic relationship falling apart and two people moving on from that relationship, I just had no reason to connect with that song. But certain songs I believe lay dormant in the back of one's mind and when one may need it, it's there to listen to. And that's what happened to me.

The first time I ever took this song seriously was back in August when I saw Barry perform it live. Though at the time I may have been more in shock when Barry grabbed a stool and put it right in front of me but I digress. Since he performed it with very little instrumentals and at one point, acapella, it gave the song a new emotional meaning as more is sometimes exposed when a song is stripped down. A person is more vulnerable in silence or a quieter setting because more people are listening, the same goes for a performer and their music. I don't know if any of this makes sense because it's so difficult to put into words, but that song spoke volumes to me, even months later in February. It still does.

As I rode the bus coming home from school it came up in my Barry shuffle on my iPod and I knew I had to listen to it, especially after today. There's a reason why I connect to this song so deeply now and like people, music comes into our lives at certain times--it's never a coincidence. Even though the reason is for me to know, I will say this--no matter what life ever throws your way, music will always save the day. :)

Greek Theatre

So yesterday I got the highly anticipated Greek Theatre DVD and 1978 tour program in the mail. It could not have come at a better time. Life can sometimes get rough and just something as simple as getting a Barry package can brighten up the day--well my day anyway. :) I was not expecting the package to come so soon, so when I opened the mailbox and saw it in there, I jumped and screamed and quickly ran into the house to open it up. Once I ripped the envelope open, I went through the program and was like a kid in a candy store looking at all the pictures. While I may not have been alive during the 70s to remember all of this when it actually happened, I do have memories of my own concerning 70s Barry in general and specifically the Greek Theatre show. Like when I borrowed a Barry tape from my local library one time and was dumbfounded when I saw the Copa performance from the Greek. (Ya know when he does that very close dance with Reparata.) Or how I was obsessed with the opening song "Here We Go Again" for a good 3 weeks. They may be similar memories fans have from the first time they saw it--the only difference is I made mine 30 years later.

I reserved my Friday night for Barry (I usually do anyway as I'm so glad the week is over) to watch the DVD and to just have some quality Barry time. As the concert appeared on my TV screen I remembered to put on my vintage '78 Tour Barry shirt to get the "full experience." So I put it on and sat back down on my bed and just watched with awe. I laughed when he talked about the people being up in the trees, smiled when he would turn around and have this certain look on his face, I had tears rolling down my face when he sang "All the Time," and reminisced about how many times I had done this before, but how the feelings have always remained constant. It is truly amazing. :)

A Musical Send off

A few days ago I attended a memorial service for the man who was basically responsible for sending me to Australia almost 2 years ago. It was a religious service so I was not that into it for personal reasons, but there was one part of the service that really struck me and made me think. During a eulogy given by his son, his son spoke of how his father had passed away listening to his favorite opera music. He had put the iPod headphones in his father's ears and his father peacefully drifted away to wherever you go once you pass away. I thought to myself
"How perfect is that?" Even though you are dying and you will no longer be biologically a part of this Earth, listening to the music you love--to me there is no better way to move on. It just goes to show how greatly music impacts human nature, even till the very end. Just a thought for today. :)