:)

I must say how truly proud I am of Barry and how honored I am to be able to call myself a fan of his work and an admirer of the man he is. Every time I see another article or picture having to do with the Manilow Music Project or another charitable event involving him, I am just overcome with joy. So many people today, well people my age, idolize the wrong people. Whether it's models who don't eat, celebrities who set a poor example, or an athlete using steroids. Barry though is an example of a normal guy with a high profile job who just wants to make a difference in the world because he feels he needs to. And it comes from the heart and never for the applause. I just wanted to say how proud I was of him. My family and friends won't be hearing the end of it this week...I tend to brag about how great he is. hehe. :)

Never Gonna Give You Up

Sitting in gym class today I looked at the people around me laughing, smiling, gossiping, and doing whatever else entails when the word "teenager" is used to describe a person's place in life. I felt more out of place than I had ever felt. A culmination of things may have caused me to feel this way, but me letting go of who I really was, was no doubt the catalyst for my emotions. This past weekend I began hanging out with a few people I have been friendly with for a while, but have never really hung out with. It felt wonderful to have friends, but driving in the car with them blasting R&B and hip hop "music" and acting like idiotic individuals made me feel fake and went against everything I believe in. I felt as though I was cheating myself and I did not like it. Most of all, I was made to feel ashamed for loving Barry and I believed it. Of course, I do not believe it nor will I ever, but in that moment I did. I had succumbed to life's expectations and I saw how even when we think we have it all figured out, we sometimes do not. I also do not want to give off the connotation that I stopped loving Barry because I did not, I just felt shame.

Later that night, I had a dream, more like a nightmare, one that was the wake up call I needed. The wake up call that said "What the hell are you doing? Don't you dare change." I had a dream Barry died. I do not know what exactly it all meant, but somehow I think it symbolized who I was because Barry is a very special part of my life. And that a part of me was going to symbolically die if I pretended my goofy, weird, Barry-loving self did not exist. So even though I did go out later that night with my friends, I spent the day running around outside listening to Barry, selling things of mine at my garage sale to save up for Barry, and telling people with a little smile when they asked if my copy of Sweet Life was for sell--"I would never give up Barry."

What I'm trying to say is, stay true to yourself--it's much more fun that way. :)

Photo courtesy of Teresa Qunta

Just A Thought

Have you ever stopped and just taken a break from the craziness life creates at times? It is sometimes difficult to relax and take in the passing clouds and distant planes as you lay on the mushy ground. But when you do--it is pure perfection.

Since I am off from school this week due to Spring Break, I have spent the last three days listening to my huge stack of Barry records. I have said this before, but listening to an LP gives me a different feeling than a CD can. LPs have this pure, untouched sound to them which impacts me in a way current technology at times can not. I admit, it has been a couple of months since I have sat down and really absorbed myself in each note and lyric of hidden gems like "Sandra" or "If I Should Love Again." It is not that I haven't listened to him because I do every single day, but the times where I sit down and just get lost in the music are sometimes few and far between as school and teenage expectations get in the way. So I decided that this week I would take the time to do what I love most--relish the part of me I love.

Listening to these albums has been a very emotional experience. Each song brings back a memory regardless of whether the memory has a situation connected to it or I just remember the first time I heard that particular song and it touched me the way it still does today. Like when I listened to "One Voice, "I had chills running up and down my spine at the sound of Barry's multiple voices blended together creating a vocal orchestra. So many flashbacks race through my mind just at the mention of that one song and that's only one song. There are so many others and so many memories. Ever since I came to love Barry, I have always been amazed at how he enables a listener to have memories and personal feelings connected to a song. I know this is one of his intentions and wishes, but at times this phenomena goes unnoticed since the craziness of life does not allow you to emerse yourself in the music. A song at times serves as background music like in a movie and life is the thickening plot.

Due to the all these memories and emotions exposing themselves once again it has created a sense of longing to see him again. I have always found it weird how I can miss a man I do not even know. I have to come to realize it is the way I feel when seeing him I miss and just seeing him actually in front of me that I would obviously miss. It may sound silly that I miss him like I do, but I can't help it. I have my non-Barry life which is normal and important to have but he is such a vital part of my life right now that I think it is a normal human reaction to miss a person who has such an impact on you.

Newspaper Article

About a week and a half ago, my school paper published an article of mine. It was not the first to be published nor will it be the last, but it will always be the one I am most proud of because it came from my heart. I was not frightened in the slightest way to show my whole school the obvious love I held for Barry. I have learned to embrace who I am and Barry is a part of me so I would not be truthful to myself or anybody else, if I did not claim him as my inspiration for my article. I hope you enjoy it. :)

NOTE: This is copyright of RPHS Eagle's Eye and Rebekah Cleary

Skimming through various radio stations, there is a garbled sound of infectious beats, hollow lyrics, and most of all, a lack of emotion.
During the past decade, the quality of music has slowly decreased due to the invasion of boy bands such as the Jonas Brothers, and the offensive lyrics of artists such as Lil Wayne. Musicians from three or four decades ago are not even recognizable to the youth of today because the constant change in music makes songs from even five months ago outdated.
Over the past several years, music has slowly become a personal anecdote, coinciding what is being written in the tabloids. Music is an artistic expression, which loses its meaning when the drama surrounding the music overshadows the actual melodic purpose. The recent Chris Brown and Rihanna scandal is a prime example of how personal events influence the opinion people have of an artist's music. Certain radio stations around the country have boycotted Brown's music in regards to his personal life rather than for musical purposes. Even though this will harm his reputation as an artist, it is not understandable how this affects the music.
If time were to rewind thirty years, the soft, calming sound of Barry Manilow singing, "I made it through the rain, I kept my world protected..." would be the message embedded in the heads of millions. The morale of this song is something every person can relate to at some point in their life. It is about redefining life and mustering up the courage to take a chance in what is considered right. Lyrics such as these may pick somebody up on a day that seems to never end, but does "...shawty wanna thug..." from Lil Wayne's "Lollipop" really mean anything? Does it give the listener the initiative to make a change in life? The lyrics are not even comprehensible to a person who follows the grammatical laws of English.
A musician's purpose is to make the listener feel something, whether positive or negative. Today's music radiates laziness and lack of depth, ruining what musicians for decades have tried so hard to achieve.
Nothing can compare with a power ballad as the music delves into a crescendo and the emotion mixes with passion, creating a song that sucks the life out of the listener after the song ends. An example would be Manilow's "Weekend in New England" that is arranged to increase in intensity as the song progresses by the addition of different instruments. After listening to a ballad by the Jonas Brothers or Beyonce, it just does not have the same effect. The message does not stay with me and it is easy to forget the song after ten minutes because it did not have a memorable moment. This is due to the fact that the quality of songwriting has decreased.
It is easy to get away with a meaningless lyric if the music flows beautifully and tells a story within the different arrangement of instruments. On the other hand, when the music suffers the same fate, the song becomes an instant disaster. Creating hypnotic beats takes no effort at all, which is the desired method of songwriting today. Musical greats such as Manilow and Elton John worked endlessly to find their place in the music industry and spent hours at the piano creating music that would affect the world. Today a a portion of singers assign producers such as Timbaland or Ne-Yo to create their voice and opinion. When a musician does not choose their own voice, the connection to the song is lost.
Music is a dying art in several aspects. Aged musicians can serve as an example to the new breed of singers and musicians to save music's purpose which is to inspire.

What has Bekah been up to?!

Well to my dismay my internet has decided to plunge head first into the sewer down the street and just not work for me at all. I have been going absolutely crazy without the internet. I do not need to be on the computer constantly, but I like checking in on things throughout the day and when I can not do that--I just lose my mind. So many Barry things happened this week and I couldn't even go and look for myself (Thank god for Alexander Graham Bell, let me tell ya) and it drove me crazy--I mean not being able to look at some really amazing pictures--school email can sometimes come in handy when trying to solve that problem. But a lot has happened in the past week and I couldn't wait to get on here and update everybody.

My parents are coming home from Germany tomorrow (finally) so I'll be able to get back to my normal life where I do not have to be asked questions about every little single thing I do, especially when it comes to Barry.
Last Saturday my nana brought me to this old record store and I got what to me was a goldmine of Barry stuff. I finally got If I Should Love Again, Live on Broadway, One Voice, 2 AM Paradise Cafe, Barry Manilow II, and a Swing Street 4 song sampler on LP and IISLA on cassette also. I walked out of there with the biggest smile on my face and I just looked at my Barry stuff like it was covered in gold. I have yet to listen to them as I didn't want to be bothered by my nana while just emerging myself in the Barry of yesterday. I have off till the 14th though (yay!!!!) so I'm sure you can guess what I'll be doing on Monday. :)

This week has been a life-changing week of sorts though. While watching the Vegas DVD last weekend with my nana, for the first time Somewhere Down the Road affected me in a way it never has before. I have always loved this song and it has always tugged at my emotions, but while watching him sing that one particular song on the DVD, for the first time it made complete sense to me. That happens to me every now and then. A song that may have not meant much to me before or may have not been clear, all of a sudden affects me in a way where it changes me in a way. As Barry has said, the song does not necessarily have to be about romance, it can be about a loss of any sort. It reminded me of my former best friend in an ironic sense. That song was one we both shared a mutual love for and that brought us both to tears when Barry sang it on the stool right in front of us back in August. I just found it ironic how that song has brought us together in a way and now the message talks about us growing apart. I just have been thinking about that song a lot.

On Tuesday I participated in a program called "Challenge Day." It's meant to bring students together and realize that us, as teenagers and individuals have more in common than we think and that it's not what is on the outside that matters. It was a very emotional day as in our small groups we would talk about who we are and who we wish people would know us as. I admit, I broke down at one point when talking about something I had never told even my closest friends before. It was an eye-opener for me and made me rethink about some things. Whenever the leaders of the program would speak though, I realized just how far I have come in such a short amount of time and how I achieved it all on my own. It in a way verified everything I had thought about myself and I honestly felt proud of myself. At one point also we were asked to take this note card and close our eyes and think of somebody who we would like to express our feelings or to thank and so on. The first person that came to mind was Barry. So I wrote my note to him. We were told to give our note cards to these people, but I don't know if giving mine would be possible, so I just have it with me for now as a keepsake. Some people underestimate at times the impact this man has had on me and how much of an inspiration he is to me every single day. This is why I wrote my note to him because he's the one I'd most like to thank. :)

I also battled a slight case of some sort of stomach thing on Monday and almost passed out on Wednesday from a lovely bout of cramps. I sometimes just love being female. But as I walked into my house after coming home early on Wednesday, I held my starz.bz package with my Manilow Live DVD and my M&P keychain in it tightly and I was happy. hehe. I'm coming down with a cold now I think. Oh joy.

Drum roll please...I also made the National Honor Society!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was so excited when I read my acceptance letter. I swear I let out the biggest gasp in history because finding out so soon was a total surprise. I'm so proud of myself and feel so accomplished of my efforts as I remember dreaming about getting into the NHS when I got accepted into the National Junior Honor Society in 8th grade.

I have begun making new friends and really revitalizing my life this week. I'm becoming who I want to be. I still have a long way to go as I'm still only 17 and have a lot to learn, but I'm on my way to something great I think. And laying in my bed Thursday night (well my parent's bed) and listened to Barry I thought to myself "Look Barry, we did it." :)